I wrote a long entry last night. Thought I hit “publish”. Apparently did not. Sometimes I feel like the comedian Steven Wright. Not that I’m funny…but that life is sort of oddly happening around me and I’m just an observer.
“I bought spot remover and put it on my dog….now he’s gone”.
A long time ago, about 30 years ago this month, I was in Houston. I had had an episode with my heart at the church and about 400 people witnessed me pass out. Ambulance came, people mad at me for scaring them…I felt very alone. A long story I’ll tell another time.
An older woman who worked at the church was like a second mother to me. Sharon. She called my apartment the next day and I wasn’t feeling great. She offered to bring me dinner and I said, “No thanks, I’m fine”. She then got uncharacteristically upset and said, “Chuck James, do not deny me the blessing of loving you”.
I’ve never viewed loving me as a blessing.
Today a friend offered me something. And this time I didn’t question it, I didn’t push back, I didn’t say “No thanks, I’m fine”. I just said, “If that’s what you want to do…then that blesses me”. He said the blessing was his.
In 2003/2004 Sharon got sick. Every week for months I would send her a dozen yellow roses. When Sharon passed away in 2004, she asked her daughter to ask me if I would speak at her funeral. I don’t know if I’ve ever been as honored. After the service we went to the grave site and to my shock…there had to be hundreds of yellow roses surrounding her site. To this day I send a dozen yellow roses to her old address on her birthday. Her daughter now lives there.
Every car I’ve ever had, I name it. And so last year when I got a new car, I named it Sharon…