Trust…

There are times that things go well. Times that things don’t.

Troubles without number surround me. I cannot see. They are more than the hairs on my head. My heart fails within me. Psalm 40:12

In this world there will be trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world. John 16:33

I keep asking my counselor a question. “Is it valid what I’m going through?”. She keeps answering, “Any one of the 5 things you are wrestling with would bring someone down”

Why do I need validation? I remember the most relief I’ve ever experienced in my life. It wasn’t when I graduated college (although that SHOULD have been the biggest relief). It wasn’t when the judge decided not to send me to the boys home when I was 15.

The most relief I’ve ever experienced in my life was when Dr Wright at the Mayo Clinic said, “It’s not in your head, it’s in your heart, we found it”.

I want to always be hopeful. Positive. Believe that it will turn out for good and that I have “taken heart”.

This weekend I was…am…overwhelmed. As if the troubles have no number. But I know they do. They have a number. I can count them. They are limited. And while their number is limited…their power seems unlimited. I wonder if that’s what David felt. Not so much that the troubles themselves were so many he couldn’t count them but he simply felt…overwhelmed.

And it doesn’t matter does it. Overwhelmed by volume or size is still overwhelmed.

How do I take heart in the middle of being overwhelmed. The very nature of being overwhelmed means to be buried. “Take heart, I have overcome the world”

Overcome…success in dealing with a problem.

I am facing something. One, I need to validate the problems. I need to give them their due, I cannot pretend anymore. Two, it is not me who will overcome the problems.

“Be still….” Ps 46:10

Now THAT is tough. Being still when I am overwhelmed. I have heard things like if you’re attacked by a bear, don’t run, just lay down and cover up. Hell with that…I’m running, I’m fighting, I’m not going to be an easy meal. And they say that when a rip tide overwhelms you and drags you under, don’t fight it, ride it out. “be still”

That requires a lot of trust…