Uh oh…

First…a medicine update…

I’m still on the channel blocker and some nitrate supplements. Not working yet, but still trying. At some point I’d like to get away for a week and see if my body will adjust to the nitrates.

Trust. Still working on it. But I learned something the hard way today. I talked last time about how the baggage from the past are used to protect me. The learnings from those hard times are my protection. Or…

Maybe protection comes from another source. The obvious is of course God. I trust him, therefore I can be more trusting in general. And, of course that’s the problem I’m working on. Aside from that, I don’t think the bags should be my primary source of protection. That would end up making me angry or paranoid.

I think the primary source is boundaries. I need to set stronger boundaries.

Circles….a long time ago I wrote about circles. My circles are all mixed up. Some people that I don’t know very well know too much about me which makes me vulnerable. It wasn’t on purpose. It was just part of leadership I thought.

There’s a saying I use in leadership…”people don’t identify with your success they identify with your failure”. It basically means as a leader people will be more apt to follow you if you’re vulnerable and real with them. And that’s true. But something went wrong…some have used my vulnerability against me. I wasn’t more discerning about the circles and boundaries. It will take a while to create distance (boundaries) from those people. The circles need to get re-established in a healthy way. That’s going to take a while. But I’ve started.

You know the funny thing as I’m typing this. I wonder if this blog is a bad idea. Am I too vulnerable in a public forum?

Uh oh…