I’ve heard that a great self defense is one that allows the attacker to do what they do and use their force against them. In boxing, on the other hand, it appears that brute force with some technique is the process. In Karate it is “move according to your opponent”.
One of the techniques of a lifeguard is to wait until the drowning person stops resisting and thrashing around before they attempt a rescue. If you jump in right away the drowning person could easily drag the lifeguard down with them.
I’m wondering if my attempt at acceptance is misguided. I’ve been trying to embrace and find purpose and be grateful for my heart. For most of my 40+ years dealing with my heart I’ve been at war. Fighting it, angry with it, hiding it…
The leap from war to gratitude is too far.
And so I’m starting to wonder if acceptance is less about purpose and gratitude and more about not resisting. I hate the covid response. I hate what it’s done to people’s lives and jobs and experiences. I have resisted it. That’s a mild understatement. (And…so is that)
But the last few weeks I have done less eye rolling and more mask wearing. I’ve chosen to not resist it. (Well…resist it less) And it’s helped.
Today was a particularly bad day for the heart. Lots of pain and beating weird. Just one of those days. I couldn’t bring myself to be grateful, but I tried to resist it less. In the past I would just get more and more frustrated throughout the day and in fact I would work harder, push myself more. But today I wanted to be less at war. It was hard…still is.
Resistance is futile. A phrase actually trademarked by CBS. It’s about time I learn that that’s true in many areas of my life.
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