It’s Not Your Fault…

I stumbled upon a great movie the other night. About half way through it. I was home alone so normally I’m looking for a super hero movie or action or something like that. Instead I got sucked into Good Will Hunting.

I vaguely remembered it and liked it, so I started watching it. It’s about a janitor at MIT who while he is cleaning at night solves these very difficult mathematical problems left on classroom chalkboards.

Turns out he was a brilliant mathematician, just gifted. The most brilliant minds in math from MIT and Harvard are blown away by what he can do. He explains to them that his solving the worlds most complex math problems is much like them teaching basic addition to elementary kids. He’s brilliant but troubled. Turns out he has some dark secrets.

He starts to meet with a psychiatrist that sees right through his toughness and challenges him. For weeks and weeks the student/janitor refuses to open up. He in fact challenges the psychiatrist back. Over and over.

Then one day while the kid is really pushing the buttons of the psychiatrist, the psychiatrist decides to say 4 words. Over. And over.

“It’s not your fault”

….yeah, I know…

“It’s not your fault”

…I got it doc, I know…

“It’s not your fault”

…youre right, I know…

“It’s not your fault”

Then…the student unleashes. Pushes the psychiatrist, says, “Not you! Stop bullshitting me!”

“it’s not your fault”

……..tears….uncontrollable tears…..

Watched a documentary about a woman who was abused by her father. A friend of hers couldn’t take what it was doing to her after years of it happening so he killed her father. He was 16. Over the years, the boy was released from jail and is making quite a great life for himself. Giving back to people in prison and helping them get degrees etc.

He’s out of jail now and when asked about what he did he said, “My only regret is that I didn’t do it sooner. I did the right thing, I just took too long to do it”

And it wasn’t angry or evil. He just knew the man had to be stopped.

When the girl was asked what one message she had for anyone seeing her story she said, “It’s not your fault”

And I cried tears…uncontrollable tears….

On the horizon as I look from the boat that is seemingly unmoored, I can see the vague form of shame being laid to rest. It’s coming…

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