Faith vs Trust. What’s the difference?
In full disclosure, I don’t fully know.
What I do know is my faith is strong, but my trust is not.
I have faith that there is a God who created all of heaven and earth. Much like others have faith that there is no God and that an explosion a billion years ago can explain our existence and the order of the earth and human bodies. Both require faith because neither can be proven.
But trust…that’s different. I trust He exists. I trust He cares. But I’m not sure to what detail. Is it just me or does it sometimes feel like we are abandoned?
That could just come from my wounds…I’m pretty sure that if I were to become immobilized or unable to provide…I would be alone. Now of course I don’t have any evidence of that in the sense that the people around me have given me that indication. But my point is that I have trust issues.
To me, trust is more about evidence that is seen and faith is more about the unseen. I trust that the chair I am sitting in will hold me because I have years of evidence of that with this chair. This chair has given me no reason to…doubt….it. I trust some people more than others. Some people have given me no reason to doubt them. Especially during these last 254 days. They have shown up for me, provided for me, protected me, cared for me. But the reality is they are human and not fully trustworthy. That’s not a ding on them, that’s just true and I don’t want to set another human on a pedestal they are destined to fall from. Not fair to them. Other people have given me great reason to doubt them and while I can and will forgive them, I won’t make the same mistake twice and allow them the ability to hurt me again. Do I trust authorities? Nope. The authorities over us have proven time and time again that they are not trustworthy. The reality is, none of us trust the police or the governors or congress or President to the fullest. At all. We may trust them a little but what we’ve simply done is told ourselves that what we don’t trust them about is tolerable.
The reason the protests happened this summer was because the police brutality was no longer…tolerable. The reason the Boston Tea Party happened was because the taxes were no longer…tolerable. The reason the USA exists today is because the tyranny of England was no longer…tolerable. The “colonies” that existed for 100 years were English. It wasn’t like the US independence happened when they arrived. It took over 100 years and it’s because the taxes and tyranny were…tolerable. This week a little town in Colorado decided that the Governor closing their businesses was no longer…tolerable. They rebelled and are open. It even happens with our own bodies. Certain aches and pains are tolerable and certain ones are not. Each person gets to decide what is and is not tolerable. I don’t get to tell someone that it’s too cold outside and they need a coat. Each person decides what temperature requires them to wear a coat.
We don’t trust the authorities, but we tolerate their intrusion because it’s…tolerable. What is it that causes a revolution? No one knows. No one knows where the line is that gets crossed and people rebel. Many a dictator has gone for decades with full power and immunity to only find that that one small thing they just did just took them out of the palace and hiding in a cave…in a matter of days. What triggered tolerable to intolerable…it’s hard to say.
But when it comes to God…what do I trust Him with?? At what point would I rebel?
Do I trust Him with my salvation? Yes, without doubt. Do I trust Him that he cares and is not evil? Yes, without doubt. Do I trust Him that he cares about my everyday life experience? Now THAT’S where things get fuzzy.
Why? Because I sometimes feel abandoned. Like it’s all up to me. Like…I’m alone. I sometimes think about prisoners of war and how they must have felt like that. Abandoned. Alone. Tom Hanks in the movie Cast Away.
I think about the Israelites and their 400 years of slavery. God’s people. Then one day God says to Moses, “I have heard the cry of my people…” and the rest is history. But I have to say that what I feel is…REALLY? You just now heard the cry of your people? Just now? If I were Moses I would have been a total smartass and said, “Oh yeah? Feeling good about your response time? I mean, the DMV hold time is less than yours. Is that a time/space continuum thing? Is that a whole “one day is like a thousand years” thing? If so, I would wait another 600 years and then you can say you responded in a day!”
Am I aware of the arrogance of that kind of response? Duh. Am I aware that when Job questioned God after God took so much away from him that God’s response was “Where were you!?” I’m aware. And I am so glad that my God, my heavenly daddy, is not offended and is patient and finds me “tolerable” to the point of grace and mercy every day. But…it’s how I feel at times.
Abandoned, alone.
So back to my question…at what point would I rebel against God?
Never. And it’s not because of evidence that He is involved in my life experience here on earth. He may or may not be. At times it seems as if what happened could only be God’s handiwork. At other times it appears as if he’s on a 400 year nap. So it’s not the evidence that has built my trust, it’s the character that has built my faith. Why will I never rebel? Because He is my God and this place is not my home. I feel abandoned and alone when I think about today and my existence on earth. But when I remember that this is not my home and I was made for something more…I don’t feel abandoned. I feel…saved.
When all I look at is today:
-I feel the pain in my chest. And it’s worse this past week
-I feel anxious because work, home, college, my own health…is all up to me
-I see I can’t watch the Chiefs because the Broncos have so much insecurity that they require everyone to only watch them in Denver when they are on
-I see my friends struggling to keep their business afloat
-I see kids stuck at home with their abusers while rich people tell us to stay home
-I see Chris die of a heart attack and his boys…feel abandoned
But when I see that this is not my home:
-I see a powerful and loving God who has saved me and it’s just a matter of time until this is over
-I see an opportunity to tell people that this is not my home and it doesn’t have to be yours either
-I see that the things I’m actually responsible for changing are VERY limited
-I then see a reason to rest and let God be God
I see a reason to have hope…because my faith is in something I can’t see and my trust is in God’s promises because there is nothing He has said that didn’t happen. He didn’t promise to take away my pain. But He promised that in heaven…there will be no more pain.
I have hope! This. Is. Not. My. Home.
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