I’m Good, I’m Good, I’m Good…

I’m good…I’m good I’m good I’m good. Living life just like I should. It’s been a long time living this way. Worrying what people say. Feeling like I won’t fit in. But I won’t give up, no I won’t give in. We’re looking for something more. What am I looking for. It’s been with me since I was born. I’m good, I’m good, I’m good.

The song “I’m Good”.

Ever since I had chest pain and fainted for the first time at 12 years old, I’ve been thinking, wondering, praying. All around one central thought…how do I make it better?

43 years, one thought. One goal.

I remember a movie with Jack Nicholson and Greg Kinnear in 1997. “As Good As It Gets”

Jack has some mental issues that cause various anti-social behaviors. He is challenged throughout the movie by his neighbor when eventually Jack says, “But what if this is as good as it gets?”

I’ve thought about it as I look around at all the pandemic craziness. What if takeout dinner is as good as it gets? What if zoom calls instead of face to face is as good as it gets? What if online education is as good as it gets? What if domestic travel only is as good as it gets? What if mask wearing in public is as good as it gets? What if…

I wonder if it’s harder to be born blind or to go blind?

All of the things we’ve lost..is it as good as it’s going to get right now? Of course the world doesn’t believe that as there is a vaccine and a hope to return to normal in the next 6 months.

But what if…this is as good as it gets…

I’ve had my counselor say to me…how do I do it. How do I “show up” every day. How am I not addicted to drugs. I think that about a lot of people, but not myself. I think that about a friend of mine who is losing his business because of the pandemic. I think that about a friend of mine whose daughter had cancer. I think, “I don’t think I could do that”.

Then I realize that God promises He won’t give us things we can’t handle and in fact I have learned that when faced with that thing I didn’t think I could do…I can do it. The reason I don’t think I could handle my child having cancer is because my child doesn’t have cancer. I’m not prepared for it because I don’t have to be. God will provide what I need, when I need it.

Paul said, “I’ve learned to be content no matter the circumstance. In plenty or in want. The secret is that Christ will give him the ability to be strong in all circumstances”

So what if the chest pain is as good as it gets.

My oxygen levels are low…I’m going to go to lower altitude for a month to see if it helps. Doc says, “100% chance you will feel better…0% chance I can predict how much better you’ll feel”

But…if this is as good as it gets…I am learning the secret to contentment…He will give me the strength I need no matter what. In fact, He already has. It’s not a future date, it’s today. And tomorrow. And every day I wake up. I’m not saying it’s easy. I’m not saying it doesn’t hurt. But what I have to admit is that He has given me the strength I need. How do I know? I wake up, I go to work, I try to love my family…what more do I need? What if this is as good as it gets?

Then….I’m good…