Jeff has taught me something. Life is relatively simple. He craves the simplest of things…
Warmth. Food. Kindness.
I am about to return to Colorado and the pain is increasing.
A friend of mine said…”It seems almost cruel to come back”
I think of it differently. I think of it like Jeff. He said he doesn’t deserve “it”. I know that feeling. I don’t think I deserve to feel better. So it doesn’t seem cruel to come back to the pain, it seems like justice.
I remember saying to my kids…fairness isn’t the goal…justice is.
AJ has had an unfair year. Extremely. Senior year of high school, freshman year of college all during covid. Mono. Toxic shock. Septic. And now she has Covid! Pretty unfair for a kid who does all the right things. Very unfair. And it can’t be just. So what the hell is it…I don’t know but I know she doesn’t deserve it.
What does Jeff deserve? Warmth. Food. Kindness. What do I deserve? I don’t know what I deserve…well…I think I do. And it’s not good.
But isn’t what what mercy is?
I don’t know…but to make a decision on what to do…I need to know