Author Archives: chuckbjames

Long night last night. Every now and then I have dreams about the past and that makes for a long night. And then I had to laugh at myself today. As I processed and thought more and more about being safe, and then as I thought about what I wrote yesterday, I had tremendous regret.Continue reading “God only knows…”

Safe. I remember when I was 12 there were twins who played baseball in my hometown. Donny and Ronny. They were kind of cocky…but they were good. One was a pitcher, the other was the catcher. When I tried out for the all-star team that summer and I came to bat, Donny (the catcher) talkedContinue reading “And the runner is…”

It started with Titus. A little boy of about 5 in Haiti around 2008. He was looking for a home, living in an orphanage. In enter a family from Arkansas looking to adopt but needed assistance. They were given assistance by a family whose father was adopted. The family in Arkansas chose Titus. Various visitsContinue reading “Titus, Silas and Louis…”

At today’s session I was leaving my counselor’s office and I was walking down the hall of this office building. I walked by glass door after glass door of empty offices. So many empty offices. In one particular one there were envelopes piled up as they were slipped under the door. I stopped….sat down inContinue reading “Yesterday’s shadows…”

I didn’t write yesterday. I sat down a few times, typed out a few things, deleted and stopped. I had had a bad day. Frankly, still am. I hate typing that. People get so encouraged when there is progress. I hate to disappoint. But…it is what it is. It is part of the human experienceContinue reading “THE grain of rice…”

I’ve been watching the Michael Jordan series “The Last Dance” the last 4 weeks. It’s all about the last season of Jordan’s career with the Bulls but it’s really inclusive of his whole career. Something hit me watching last night’s episode. There was a lot of talk and interviews about Jordan’s competitiveness and “win atContinue reading “MJ…”

Tonight I find myself not really wanting to write. It’s been a hard day. My heart really didn’t do well and I had multiple episodes. I’m discouraged. I keep reading David’s Psalm from the cave. “When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way. In the path where I walkContinue reading “The path to freedom…”

Lady Gaga recently talked about living in chronic pain. She said she was tired of people saying it was in her head and not taking her seriously. “Chronic pain is no joke”, she said. When I first started talking to the counselor about my chest pain, she called it chronic pain. I disagreed. I thoughtContinue reading “Gaga…”

When I was around 13 I was messing around in our backyard and for some stupid 13 year old reason that right now escapes me…I was playing with a large paint can. The paint can somehow ended up flying in the air and hitting me right in the front tooth. It chipped a corner offContinue reading “HD tv…”

Key the eerie music and then an ominous voice says, “Who knows what lurks in the hearts of men….the Shadow knows….” A radio show in the 30s and also a comic book. I actually have these old comic books. Deep dive in session today. I don’t really have any quippy stories to write. Any bigContinue reading “The shadow…”